Zack and Miri make a Porno (2008)

Comedy is a strange beast, you can recycle the same tired plots over and over again, and as long as you make it funny, all will be forgiven. The new film by Kevin Smith, “Zack and Miri make a Porno,” is not funny; therefore nothing is forgiven.

The film is a retread of one of cinema’s most familiar plot lines: two platonic life-long friends suddenly realize that they’re really in love with one another, but can they take the plunge and risk ruining their friendship? I’ll give you one guess to tell me how it ends? Well, to be honest it’s not important how it ends. In films like this, it’s never as important how it ends, as it is how it begins. What exactly is the reason for this couple’s emotional revelation?

In this case, our loveable leads, Zack & Miri (Seth Rogan & Elizabeth Banks), are down on their luck financially and find themselves in that unique position where having sex for money doesn’t quite sound so implausible. So they decide to make a porno and distribute it themselves. The only problem is that Miri doesn’t want to have sex with a random stranger, so the two of them agree to do it with each other.

Obviously listening to that premise, it’s easy to see how the situation could be mined for both Comedy and Dramatic gold. The problem is that Smith simplifies everything. The Comedy is Smith’s obligatory dick and shit jokes, laced with cultural references and raunchy language, which again, wouldn’t be a problem if it were funny. Since it rarely is, it feels forced and labored. The attempts at Drama are sappy and surprisingly run-of-the-mill.

As far as good things go in the film, there is a sequence early on when Zack and Miri go to their High School reunion that has some really funny bits, especially from Justin Long as a completely hilarious gay porn star. To be honest, it almost didn’t matter what he said, just as long as he said it in that voice. Seriously that guy deserves a better career. Craig Robinson is also really great as Zack's co-worker/porno producer.

When I told people at my work that I thought that there was no difference between this movie and any other Romantic Comedy, except for the unnecessary vulgarity, the first question they’d ask me was usually “Well, do you like Kevin Smith movies?” My answer is yes, I enjoyed Smith’s first 4 films, but I thought that he peaked with “Dogma,” and everything since then had been bad to mediocre. They then usually ask me, “Well, what did you really expect?” My answer is that it’s not enough to be vulgar and shocking; anybody can do that.

If I’m supposed to get excited for the new Kevin Smith movie, I want him to bring something else to the table, some sort of insight. I hate to say it, but in a strange way, Smith is an artist. Some of his films really do seem to reflect his life experiences and his worldviews. This one though, feels like it could have been made by anyone.

Okay, I’m done shitting on this movie. To be honest, it’s not that bad, but rather, mediocre to sometimes funny. I don’t know, maybe I’m being too hard on it, but as my girlfriend said, “it’s like ‘Jersey Girl,’ but with sex.”