Turkey Shoot a.k.a. Escape 2000 (1982)

This was the final film screened during the Not Quite Hollywood series, and I watched it the night of the Bill Murray Experience. As a result of trying to the watch the documentary, “Not Quite Hollywood,” earlier in the evening, I ended up seeing many clips from this movie, and to be honest, I was foaming at the mouth, waiting for midnight to roll around.

The film is another work directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith and is set in the “near future” of 1995. It's a dystopian future at that, complete with a police-state concentration camp, and everything. At the beginning of the film, three new prisoners (one guy and two girls) are rounded up and shown the inner workings of the camp by the evil and sadistic head guard, Ritter (Roger Ward, giving the film's stand-out performance). Ritter is a maniacal monster and wonderful villain. The scene where he slaps a young female inmate till she's lying a pool of her own blood is intense, disturbing, yet strangely hilarious.

On the flip side, Steve Railsback's performance as Paul, the male lead, left a lot to be desired for me. He just seemed like a jerky dude. As the story progresses, we find out that our three leads are the next in line to take part in the camp's most cruel and unusual of punishments: they are to be hunted for sport. Their reward, if they survive, is that they get their freedom. The hunters, in this case, are Thatcher, the head of the camp, Ritter, and his cronies, including a freakish-wolfman-like-ogre, who rides around with him in a dune buggy. There is also a woman (played by Carmen Duncan) on the prowl with an arsenal of exploding arrows. While the hunters hunt, the prey, led by Railsback, fight back and attempt to bring forth a revolution.

As fate would have it, seeing the clips from this movie earlier in the evening turned out to work against the film for me. In other words, those sequences of sex and violence in “Not Quite Hollywood” proved to be the best “Turkey Shoot” had to offer. Seeing those moments in a montage ended up to setting my expectations entirely too high. As a result, whose to say what my response to “Turkey Shoot” would have been if I hadn't seen those clips? Judging from my friends who were with me (none of which saw “Not Quite Hollywood”), it might have been the same. All in all, this film was kind of disappointing, and was a slightly below average “Terror Thursday,” not that great, but with a few truly inspired and entertaining moments. Most of which were either provided by the creative gore effects, or most likely, the truckload of pyro that was used in this thing.

“Turkey Shoot” screened at midnight at the Alamo Ritz on 9/25/08 and was presented by Terror Thursday.

Not Quite Hollywood a.k.a. The Bill Murray Experience

Soooooooo in conjunction with the Fantastic Fest repertory series about Ozploitation, the festival screened the new documentary, “Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!,” from director Mark Hartley. Hartley was at both the “Dark Age” and “Razorback” screenings and projected an interesting awkwardness on stage with both Zack and Lars; I think perhaps this was due to his sense of humor being somewhat different than ours. Either way, he seemed like a very knowledgeable guy and pretty friendly.

The documentary covers the renaissance of Australian film-making that occurred in 70's and 80's that manifested itself as Genre and Exploitation films. Covering a wide number of films, mostly Sex-Comedies, Action, and Horror, the documentary does a wonderful job of functioning not just as a Greatest Hits compilation of Nudity and Violence, but also as a crash course in the unconventional, unsafe, renegade-style of film-making that transpired at the time. It's genuinely enjoyable to watch these guys reflect fondly on their days of amateurish, yet invigorating productions. Watching their faces light up as they relay their crazy stories from back then, I had to wonder if modern film-makers will ever experience this much fun on the set.


At this point in the review, I have to step back and make a confession: About 30 minutes into the movie, our waiter brought my girlfriend her food, but when she looked at it, she informed him that it wasn't what she ordered. He then apologized and said the kitchen was “really crazy right now because Bill Murray is in the lobby.” My girlfriend and I looked at it each other in disbelief.


As most of the Fantastic Fest attendees knew (hell, I knew and I wasn't an attendee), the closing night film was going to be “City of Ember,” and although rumor had it that some cast and crew were going to be there, no one seriously thought Bill Murray was going to show up. I mean, it's BILL MURRAY!!!!


At any rate, we quietly left the theater and went out into the lobby where Mr. Murray was standing, giving interviews in a sort of musical chairs fashion. Standing on the other side of the ropes, only 6 feet from him, I felt a warmth in my body; I don't know how to explain it. Something about seeing him in the flesh just made me so happy; perhaps it's all the nostalgia, I don't know. I snapped a bunch of photos of him being interviewed, while everyone in the lobby watched on in awe.



My girlfriend watched, paced, and somehow found time to take a smoke break!?! It was obvious that she was determined to meet him. A couple of months prior, she was in Chicago and went to a charity event where Bill Murray jumped out of a plane. She was determined to meet him then, but didn't even come close, and now she was just a mere 6 feet away.

I kept going back into the theater to check on our tab, and I would see glimpse of the film that looked absolutely great, but I would then remember that Bill Murray was outside and exit back into the lobby. After my final exit from the theater, Mr. Murray had finished the interviews and he was standing near the box office with security around him. He was looking at local publications, fliers, that sort of thing, and he asked an employee about, I believe, Austin City Limits, and after the employee answered his question, he asked Bill Murray if he could take a picture with him. After that, there seemed like there was a group of passive, quiet, vultures circling him in the lobby, all of them too afraid to be the first to speak to him. My girlfriend, brazen as ever, blurted out “I kiss your feet!! If you let me take a photo with you!?!” To which Mr. Murray, dryly responded, “Really? That seems a little excessive, and I don't really want to take my shoes off.” What resulted afterwards was this dimly lit, blurry photo of Heather, Bill Murray, & I.


I had always heard strange stories about people meeting Bill Murray, tales that verge on the edge of urban legends. I remember reading a story years ago about a guy who was waiting in a subway station, and suddenly Bill Murray showed up, gave the guy a noogie, and whispered in his ear: "No one will ever believe you." My friend Patricia once marveled me with a story about her Mom and her meeting Bill Murray on the beach in Florida. She was 7 or 8 years old and she saw a man walking along the beach that looked like "the ghostbuster." Her mother went over to the man with her and said, "My daughter thinks that you are man from the 'Ghostbusters,' is she right?" To which he replyed, "Yeah, I'm the ghostbuster," and looking down Patricia, he said, "don't worry, there's no ghosts on the beach." I've also always heard rumors that he was bit of a jerk in real life, much like you hear about every celebrity...maybe, who knows? I only met the guy for 30 seconds, but he nicer than he had to be to me.


As for “Not Quite Hollywood,” the whole thing wasn't a loss. For starters, the Alamo is bringing it back sometime in the Winter or Spring, and I will definitely be there in full force. Plus, as a result of the bits that I did see, I ordered some films online that night, “Dead-End Drive In,” “Road Games,” and “Patrick.”

The Man from Hong Kong (1975)

"Hey! Don't give me any shit!!" - Fang Sing-Leng from "The Man from Hong Kong"

Director Brian Trenchard-Smith was in attendance for this Weird Wednesday screening of "The Man from Hong Kong," a true cinematic anomaly: an Australian set and produced Kung Fu Action movie that is also a satire of Renegade American Cop films. Would-be heir to the thrown of Bruce Lee, Jimmy Wang Yu, plays Inspector Fang Sing-Leng, a loose cannon cop from the Hong Kong Special Branch, who "learned every trick in the book, and then threw the book away." He arrives in Australia to assist a pair of local cops with the extradition of two-bit drug smuggler, Win Chan. Everything goes awry when Chan is assassinated by a killer (legendary stunt man Grant Page) hired by the extravagant crime lord, Jack Wilton (George Lazenby). Wang Yu then goes on a quest to prove Wilton is the man behind the drug smuggling ring, and destroys everything that he comes into contact with in the process, but never fear, because it's all in the name of justice.

Okay, let me just start by saying that everything about this movie is totally Badass. Even the stuff that starts out lame, like the theme song, “Sky High,” by the band, Jigsaw, is suddenly transformed into something totally Badass. Another example: Hang Gliding, usually it's really lame, but in this movie, it's totally Badass, who knew? Hell, when it combines "Sky High" and Hang Gliding, every other movie in the world should of committed suicide. I don't know how it works, but “x” plus “The Man from Hong Kong equals TOTALLY BADASS.

Other examples of Badass stuff: The opening car chase that ends with an insane car-flip and explosion that causes one of the doors to unhinge and fly towards the camera. No CGI at work, just good old fashion dangerous film-making. Hell, every car chase in this movie kicks major ass, and to me at least, it looked like Wang Yu did all of his own stunt driving. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but if am, that's even more props for the movie. There's another example of hazardous film-making later on in the film in a scene where George Lazenby is set on fire, a real fire stunt that resulted in him having to be hospitalized for burns to his hands (it also supposed resulted in Lazenby punching Trenchard-Smith). The scene looks not unlike this photo of Brian Trenchard-Smith doing a publicity stunt for the film on the rooftop of the Kerridge Odeon Building:

Another Badass thing Wang Yu definitely does his own stunt driving in the coolest fucking entrance to a date ever; he slides his car sideways, stopping just short of his rendezvous' car, which is parked on a cliff-side, she never stood a chance.

With all the great stunt driving, it surprising that the film also produces some pretty good fight scenes, the highlights being the one between and Wang Yu and Grant Page in a kitchen, and Wang Yu's climatic final fight with Lazenby, which you can watch here. I also really liked the cut effects in the movie. Even though the blood was obviously orange paint, the way cuts occurred in the film was quite convincing.

The film also sports some horribly racist, but hilarious dialogue, such as Wang Yu's love-making scene in which his mate says "This is nice," to which he responds “What did you expect, acupuncture?” Wang Yu supposedly disliked white women so much, that whenever he was preparing for his love-making scenes in the film, he would eat bugs before having to kiss them (this story was detailed in the documentary, "Not Quite Hollywood"). Lazenby also plays up the racist villain with lines like "I find Chinese make the best servants" and "I never met a Chinese yet that didn't have a yellow streak." Not to mention, one of the Australian cops off-hand remarks after Wang Yu destroys something, "Talk about the bloody yellow peril." I never thought racism was Badass until I saw "The Man from Hong Kong."


Lastly, though no one mentioned it (I totally expected Lars to since he has such a fondness for Philippine shirts), the film contains a hefty amount of colorful, crazy shirts. Considering the shirts that Brian Trenchard-Smith wore for his appearances, it's not surprising.

Here is his Q & A for the film from the Fantastic Fest screening:


"The Man from Hong Kong" screened on 9/24/08 at midnight and was presented by Weird Wednesday as part of the Not Quite Hollywood series.

Razorback (1984)

Let's get this out of the way right now: A movie about a killer pig CAN be scary...if done right. Russell Mulcahy's wild-giant-boar-rampaging-through-the-outback-creature-feature, “Razorback.” isn't just done right, it's done perfectly, absolutely perfectly. Seeing it for the first time, on a big screen no less, I knew immediately that this was without a doubt one of the best Horror movies I'd ever seen.

From the opening sequence that begins with a loving grandfather (Bill Kerr) tucking his young grandson into bed and ends with that man's world crashing down around him in a ball of dust and flames as a giant savage runs riot through the child's bedroom, I knew that this was no ordinary pig movie. The epic scope of the cinematography (helmed by Dean Semler) in this sequence made my legs tense up with excitement as I watched the grandfather, Jake, stumble away from his burning house and collapse in distress over the brutal death of his grandson.

As the plot unfolds, Jake is brought to trial for the death of his grandson because no one believes his story that a giant pig stormed through the house and snatched the child up. Jake is acquitted though during the trial, due to lack of evidence, but his reputation is sullied, and he becomes hellbent on revenge against the beast that tore down his life.

Meanwhile, an animal rights activist and America television reporter, Beth Winters, travels to Australia to investigate and conduct interviews about kangaroo poaching. Naturally, she is met with hostility from the locals, especially from two ruffians, Benny and Dicko, whose entire demeanor is equal parts inbred-post-apocalyptic-hillbilly & New-Wave-chic. They are ugly folks who have nothing but ugliness on their minds. After an unfortunate run in with Benny and Dicko in the middle of nowhere, Beth escapes sexual assault, but ironically doesn't escape the wrath of the giant boar.

Beth's death is considered to be a freak accident by the locals, but when her husband, Carl, arrives in town, it becomes apparent real fast that he suspects something else caused her death. Can Carl, a stranger in a strange land, find out the truth about his wife's death? Will Jake get his revenge against the beast? Will Benny and Dicko get what's coming to them? And what is the deal with that beautiful girl in the middle of nowhere that tracks boars all day for no reason? These are all questions I let the film answer for you.

For my money, there is just no shortage of things to like about this movie. The creature design by Bob McCarron (“Dead Alive”) is unique and effective. The hyperkinetic cinematography is just plain breathtaking in it's eerie use of stark imagery, wide open spaces, and outrageous lighting, especially in Carl's incredible hallucinogenic dream sequence. The tension is wrought and unbearable at times, but the action is nonstop and for lack of better word, badassss. Even the performances are great, especially from Bill Kerr as Jake.

Watching this on the heels of “Dark Age” the night before, I couldn't help but compare the two in my head. This movie was in every way everything I hoped “Dark Age” would be, a balls-to-the-wall ass-kicking, monster movie.


“Razorback” screened at midnight on 9/18/08 at the Alamo Ritz and was presented by Terror Thursday as part of the Not Quite Hollywood series.

Dark Age (1987)

This film was screened as part of the Fantastic Fest's "Not Quite Hollywood: Best of Ozsploitation" series. It was the first film of the series that I saw, and to be honest, it was little underwhelming. Basically, an Australian-set version of "Jaws," (mixed with a little "Free Willy," so to speak) "Dark Age" is about a park ranger named Steve (John Jarratt) who, along with two local guides, Oondabund & Adjaral, set out to hunt down and capture a giant man-eating crocodile, known as Numunwari, before a group of vengeful poachers (led by an actor channeling Shane-MacGowan) get to it first. The Australian government hires to Steve to put an end to the croc killing spree, but the Aboriginal guides believe that the croc harbors an old spirit that must be preserved.


There's a scene early on in the film where the croc comes face to face with a small little boy (probably 3 or 4 years old) and swallows him whole, while the little boy's family and the rest of the bystanders watch on. It's always intense when children are put in harms way in the movies, but it's a guaranteed shocker for a film to call the bluff, so to speak. After that sequence though, I felt the pacing slowed down too much for a Thriller. I felt that after it's inspired opening 20 minutes or so, the film just kind of flat-lined until the last 20 minutes kicked in.


The movie was well filmed and had a fairly strong production value, even with the big plastic crocodile (which doesn't really start to look bad until the final sequence, and even then, it looked better than the one from "Eaten Alive)." There were some decent performances, especially from the Aboriginal guides (played by Burnham Burnham & David Gulpilil) and the lead poacher. Plus, there was one excellent chase sequence near the end.




All things considered though, not bad for a one-time viewing, but certainly not the balls-to-the-wall-insanity-thrill-ride I was expecting.


"Dark Age" screened at midnight on 9/17/08 at the Alamo Ritz, and was presented by Weird Wednesday.