Redneck (1973)

“Redneck" was not the Southern-set rural Hicksploitation flick that I thought it was going to be, but rather an Italian-made crime-gone-awry film starring Franco Nero and Telly Savalas as Mosquito and Memphis respectively. The two of them play jewel store robbers who in process of getting away (via an outrageously crazy car chase sequence) accidentally kidnap a young boy named Lennox (Mark Lester of “Oliver” fame). Lennox is an effeminate lad who is in disparate need of a father figure, so much so that he projects that need onto Mosquito. Nero's performance is one of confusion, repressed anger, and despair.

Telly's Memphis on the other hand is in a different world entirely; he's a hayseed chewing, spiritual singing caricature that has more in common with Robert Downey Jr's performance in “Tropic Thunder” than with any 'redneck' I've ever met. He shoots a kid, assaults a prostitute, and kills a German family in the middle of their picnic, and all the while hysterically maintains his innocence to God, claiming repeatedly that it wasn't his fault, and that they made him do it.

By the end of the film Franco Nero is completely fucked up, shivering in the snow, covered in filth and blood, and forced to wear a woman's Tiger-skin jacket. Lennox and him are reduced to dragging a wounded Memphis through the woods and across the snow in an attempt to reach the border. All the while, Memphis suffers near-death hysteria as his crotch is covered in blood, and the police zero in on them. This movie is so crazy that the final gun battle involves a person being shot by bullet that causes them to perform a cartwheel before quietly exiting this world.

Overall, "Redneck" is a surprisingly good Thriller that's really worth checking out for Savalas' bizarro performance.

Tarzana, the Wild Girl (1969)

Rich Englishmen, Sir Donovan, had long believed his daughter had perished in a plane crash in Africa along with his wife and family, but when strange reports arrive over 15 years later of a local tribe crowning a white woman their queen (known as Tarzana), he sends a rescue expedition to Nairobi on the slim chance his daughter survived.

This Italian production finds Safari expect, Glen Shipper (resembling an older, taller Aaron Eckhart) accompanying Sir Donovan's representatives, Doris (Franca Polesello), and the sinister Groder (Franco Ressel, resembling a younger, thinner, Alan Rickman) in search of Tarzana.

They bring along a team of helpers including the tribal dancer/trail-leader, Kamala, grizzled hunter, Lars, lecherous villain, Fred, and Shipper's driver who is a fat black man with a machete, who dresses exactly like Gilligan from “Gilligan's Island.” Along the way, the expedition wanders through a cave that looks strangely like the same one from “The Boogens.” They also find the 15 year old plane wreckage and they ward off stock footage of a lion that magically turns into a “dead” stuffed lion on a sound-stage.

The real star of the film is Tarzana (Femi Benussi) herself, or more specifically, Tarzana's breasts. Much of the film consists of Tarzana walking around completely topless, wearing nothing but a jungle g-string, while posing on a sound-stage with an elephant, a baby lion (or was it a tiger?), and a particularly human-sounding monkey. Every once in a while she pauses to let out a bellowing toneless yell to summon various animals to her aide. To help give you an idea of how obsessed the movie is with Tarzana's breasts, in the climatic sequence at the end where Doris is appealing to Tarzana to come with her and Glen, she actually appeals to Tarzana's breasts by removing her own shirt and comparing her breasts to Tarzana's: "Look, we're the same.

That's pretty much everything you need to know about "Tarzana, the Wild Girl," an unremarkable movie that was a sometimes boring, yet ultimately enjoyable Weird Wednesday.

The Shape of Things to Come (1979)

So I can safely say that this unfaithful H.G. Wells adaptation was a pretty unmemorable Weird Wednesday, especially considering that it screened a mere month ago, and sitting here now, I'm struggling to recall what I thought about it. I guess what I'm saying is bear with me on this one.

The plot, as provided by imdb.com goes something like this:

Planet Earth is a devastated wasteland, and what's left of humanity has colonized the Moon in domed cities. Humanity's continued survival depends on an anti-radiation drug only available on planet Delta Three, which has been taken over by Omus (Jack Palance), a brilliant but mad mechanic who places no value on human life. Omus wants to come to the Moon to rule and intends to attack it by ramming robot-controlled spaceships into the domes. Dr. John Caball, his son Jason, Jason's friend, Kim, and a robot named Sparks embark on Caball's space battlecruiser on an unauthorized mission to Delta Three to stop Omus.


Now let me just say that reading this synopsis now, I guess I can see how a plot could be strung together by the scenes I saw, but at the time (perhaps it was my tired mental state, but I never fell asleep once during this one) I swear my mind was not processing a plot, but merely absorbing scene after scene.

That being said, the most painful problems with the film are obvious from the get-go; the lumbering pace, the low production value (for a Sci-Fi film at least), and a completely flat script are among the film's worst crimes. The absolute worst though, without a doubt, is the complete under-use of the incomparable Jack Palance. He shows up briefly early on and you're primed for some damn fine scene-chewing, and then there's nothing for an hour or so. He shows up in the last 25 minutes or so to unload some pure cinematic insanity, but it's too little, too late.

It wasn't a total loss though, there were some pretty laughable moments here and there, among my favorites:

--Jack Palance giant floating/rotating holographic head. His incredible overacting, arm gesturing, and his delivery of the line: “Where's your humanism now doctor!?!” You can also tell how evil he is by how many times he laughs out of pure amazement and delight with what he's doing.

--The hallucinogenic space travel sequence (something that seems to be a standard in 70's Sci-Fi films) that's capped with the line: “What the Hell was that about?”

--The ridiculous "robots." Sparks actually seems more human than most of the humans in the film.



--The crazy space-gladiator weapons.

--There's a group of kids in the movie that are supposed to be mutants, or fallout victims, or orphans or something. I don't know, but half of them have on awful blond wigs. The other half have either naturally blond hair or just naturally dark hair. I'm pretty sure that the idea here was that they would all have blond wigs, but the filmmakers didn't have enough to go around so some ended up with them and some didn't. The only reason I think this is because one of the kids wearing a blond wig was Asian.

To be fair to this one, I know there were a lot of other funny bits, but I just can't remember them. I leave you with this, did you know that Jack Palance's birth name was Volodymir Ivanovich Palahniuk? Me neither.



"The Shape of Things to Come" screened 10/8/08 at the midnight and was presented by Weird Wednesday.

All the Sins of Sodom (1968)

This was the second part of the Joe Sarno double feature, and it's a film that was thought to have been lost for 30 years. Apparently, the negatives were discovered recently and this digital transfer was made, and then screened to a sold out Weird Wednesday audience. There's something humbling about watching a film that hasn't been seen by anyone else in 30 years, or in some cases, ever. It was definitely more of what I'm used to from Sarno, exceptionally photographed Black & White sequences with iconic imagery, somewhat choppy editing, and performances that range from vibrant to cardboard.


The plot centers around a big city photographer looking to catch his big break in the world of model photography. Throughout the film he has a handful of muses, some innocent and coy, at least one of them is pure evil (well, sort of), but they all give themselves over to the photographer, both in front of the camera and behind it. When the photographer gets what he wants from both his innocent and evil muses, at what cost will he have to pay?


To be honest, I was completely conscience during this movie, but because of the slow pace and limited plot, it's hard for me to recall specific details that stood out to me. I remember thinking that the evil muse was not really my type, but that she was so wonderfully filmed that I understood why she was the catalyst in the movie. I also remember thinking that the male lead, the photographer, was not up to the challenge of acting against the female cast. His exclamations of frustration to his model; “No, no, it's not evil enough,” induced more laughter in the theater than understanding. I remember the goofy faces the elevator operator made in the background of his shots, which I think is funny now, since he's the only male in the movie that got a film credit on IMDB.


After the movie, I went out into the lobby and met Joe Sarno. I watched his trembling hand scribble out an inscription on my copy of “The Love Merchant.” The young man next to him asked Sarno if he remembered that picture, and he replied with fondness for it. I wonder what that night at the Alamo was like Sarno? I remember during the screening of “Abigail Lesley,” looking down the row of seats and seeing Joe's face as he watched the screen. I wonder what it was like to watch it in theater with an audience, after all these years?


The inscription on my dvd said: “Hey Popkoff! Enjoy the Sex! - Joe Sarno.”


Here's is a bit of one of the Q & A's from that night:



“All the Sins of Sodom” screened at midnight on 10/1/08 at the Alamo Ritz and was presented by Weird Wednesday.

Abigail Leslie is back in Town (1975)

Well, well, well...in the nearly 4 years that I've been attending Weird Wednesday, there have been 3 directors that have punctuated my weekly cinema exploration: Al Adamson, Andy Milligan, & Joe Sarno. Adamson was sort of an everyman's director, who took whatever material he could get his hands on and did what he could with it, with varying degrees of success. Regardless of the subject matter though, an Adamson movie was always an "Adamson" movie. Milligan on the other hand was a shoestring budget auteur whose productions were mostly period pieces complete with hand-sewn costumes, reused sets, and loads of dialogue, mostly of the bickering and bitching variety. He was also a huge asshole apparently; whose real-life final act mirrored the best possible twist in any of his productions.

That brings us to Joe Sarno, a psychology major, whose Sex films, especially in the 60's, were more concerned with the character's motives than with their sexual actions. Known in some circles these days as "the Ingmar Bergman of sex films," his movies combined starkly-photographed, envelope-pushing scenes of titillation with suburban settings, and complex, yet compelling Soap Opera-esque performances. He's especially known for providing strong female characters in a genre where the opposite was usually the case. Most of his films that I have seen, with the exception of "Swedish Wildcats," were black & white Dramas that carried the ambiance of Film Noir into the world of Skin Flicks, and along the way mixed in occult themes, corruption, and paranoia.

This screening of "Abigail Leslie" was part of a Weird Wednesday double feature along with "All the Sins of Sodom," and was presented with Joe Sarno (now 87 years old) Live and in Person. If I had to guess, I would venture to say that this film was made either shortly before or shortly after his transition from Soft-core to Hardcore, due mostly to the excess of full frontal nudity, which was definitely more than any other Sarno film I've seen at the Alamo.

The only reason I note that is because I had invited two of my younger friends to the show, one of them 18 and the other 19 year olds, and neither one had any idea what they were in for. I imagine they were shocked and quite confused by the thought-provoking Q & A and mature analysis that followed the screening. One of them quite perfectly described the movie as "a housewife porno, but with 'real' housewives."

The story centers on Priscilla (Rebecca Brooke, giving an uncommonly strong performance in a Sex film), content yet bored housewife whose marriage was thrown into peril some years earlier by her friend and town jezebel, Abigail Leslie (Jennifer Jordan). After Abigail's betrayal, her own marriage fell apart and she left the town of Baypoint.

The film begins with the news of "that hot-pants-bitch," Abigail Leslie being back in town. Upon hearing the news, Priscilla attempts to play it cool, but retreats as fast as she can to the beach. There, she reflects back on the events that fill her with such dread. In a flashback we see Priscilla and her friend, Tracy (played by Susan Sloan), catching Abigail in bed with Priscilla's husband, Gordon. The line delivery by Tracy is the perfect contrast to Priscilla's horrified expression; "They say 'a kettle of hot water helps in times like these.'" It's at this point that the audience is introduced to Abigail's dead eyes and smoky detached voice.

Every Monday and Wednesday Priscilla goes to the beach where she meets up with Chester, a nice-guy handyman who has the eyes for Priscilla, but the two of them are too shy to take their rendezvous one step further. Meanwhile Abigail returns to the local boat yard (where most of the film takes place) and meets up with some of the other local housewives. It's not very long before Priscilla's husband hears the news and sets up a secret meeting of his own with Abigail.

Priscilla suspects as much of her husband, and feels sorrow, frustration, and confusion about her crumbling marriage, even though everyone around her, including her naughty aunt Drucilla and her beau, Bo (played by Sonny Landham of "Predator" and "48 Hours" fame), urge her to enjoy the freedom that comes with an open marriage.

Meanwhile, Abigail begins the seduction not only of every man in town, but of every woman too. I remember during the first 45 minutes of the film thinking that it was all so scandalous. The enjoyment derived from it was on par with the kind you get from hearing juicy gossip. Abigail's line delivery and philosophies in particular made me chuckle and gasp throughout. When asked why cheerleaders look more pretty today, Abigail responds "Oh, they eat better and fuck more." When she seduces one of the ladies, she says "give me your tongue damn it, give it to me!"

So much of the first half of the film is filled with seedy conversations and sleazy seductions, and all the while I felt that Abigail was concocting a plot for revenge. As the film progressed it became more and more clear that her plot was not so much vengeance as was forgiveness, well, forgiveness through a LOT of sex. Virtually the entire second half of the film is filled with sex scenes. As a result, it felt like the plot and characters eventually were crushed under the weight of all that sex screen time. Of course, I'm the kind of guy that gets bored with sex scenes after a while.

At any rate, this movie was pretty awesome, even if the first half was better than the second.


"Abigail Leslie is back in Town" was screened on 10/1/08 at 9:30 and was presented by Weird Wednesday.

The Man from Hong Kong (1975)

"Hey! Don't give me any shit!!" - Fang Sing-Leng from "The Man from Hong Kong"

Director Brian Trenchard-Smith was in attendance for this Weird Wednesday screening of "The Man from Hong Kong," a true cinematic anomaly: an Australian set and produced Kung Fu Action movie that is also a satire of Renegade American Cop films. Would-be heir to the thrown of Bruce Lee, Jimmy Wang Yu, plays Inspector Fang Sing-Leng, a loose cannon cop from the Hong Kong Special Branch, who "learned every trick in the book, and then threw the book away." He arrives in Australia to assist a pair of local cops with the extradition of two-bit drug smuggler, Win Chan. Everything goes awry when Chan is assassinated by a killer (legendary stunt man Grant Page) hired by the extravagant crime lord, Jack Wilton (George Lazenby). Wang Yu then goes on a quest to prove Wilton is the man behind the drug smuggling ring, and destroys everything that he comes into contact with in the process, but never fear, because it's all in the name of justice.

Okay, let me just start by saying that everything about this movie is totally Badass. Even the stuff that starts out lame, like the theme song, “Sky High,” by the band, Jigsaw, is suddenly transformed into something totally Badass. Another example: Hang Gliding, usually it's really lame, but in this movie, it's totally Badass, who knew? Hell, when it combines "Sky High" and Hang Gliding, every other movie in the world should of committed suicide. I don't know how it works, but “x” plus “The Man from Hong Kong equals TOTALLY BADASS.

Other examples of Badass stuff: The opening car chase that ends with an insane car-flip and explosion that causes one of the doors to unhinge and fly towards the camera. No CGI at work, just good old fashion dangerous film-making. Hell, every car chase in this movie kicks major ass, and to me at least, it looked like Wang Yu did all of his own stunt driving. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but if am, that's even more props for the movie. There's another example of hazardous film-making later on in the film in a scene where George Lazenby is set on fire, a real fire stunt that resulted in him having to be hospitalized for burns to his hands (it also supposed resulted in Lazenby punching Trenchard-Smith). The scene looks not unlike this photo of Brian Trenchard-Smith doing a publicity stunt for the film on the rooftop of the Kerridge Odeon Building:

Another Badass thing Wang Yu definitely does his own stunt driving in the coolest fucking entrance to a date ever; he slides his car sideways, stopping just short of his rendezvous' car, which is parked on a cliff-side, she never stood a chance.

With all the great stunt driving, it surprising that the film also produces some pretty good fight scenes, the highlights being the one between and Wang Yu and Grant Page in a kitchen, and Wang Yu's climatic final fight with Lazenby, which you can watch here. I also really liked the cut effects in the movie. Even though the blood was obviously orange paint, the way cuts occurred in the film was quite convincing.

The film also sports some horribly racist, but hilarious dialogue, such as Wang Yu's love-making scene in which his mate says "This is nice," to which he responds “What did you expect, acupuncture?” Wang Yu supposedly disliked white women so much, that whenever he was preparing for his love-making scenes in the film, he would eat bugs before having to kiss them (this story was detailed in the documentary, "Not Quite Hollywood"). Lazenby also plays up the racist villain with lines like "I find Chinese make the best servants" and "I never met a Chinese yet that didn't have a yellow streak." Not to mention, one of the Australian cops off-hand remarks after Wang Yu destroys something, "Talk about the bloody yellow peril." I never thought racism was Badass until I saw "The Man from Hong Kong."


Lastly, though no one mentioned it (I totally expected Lars to since he has such a fondness for Philippine shirts), the film contains a hefty amount of colorful, crazy shirts. Considering the shirts that Brian Trenchard-Smith wore for his appearances, it's not surprising.

Here is his Q & A for the film from the Fantastic Fest screening:


"The Man from Hong Kong" screened on 9/24/08 at midnight and was presented by Weird Wednesday as part of the Not Quite Hollywood series.

Dark Age (1987)

This film was screened as part of the Fantastic Fest's "Not Quite Hollywood: Best of Ozsploitation" series. It was the first film of the series that I saw, and to be honest, it was little underwhelming. Basically, an Australian-set version of "Jaws," (mixed with a little "Free Willy," so to speak) "Dark Age" is about a park ranger named Steve (John Jarratt) who, along with two local guides, Oondabund & Adjaral, set out to hunt down and capture a giant man-eating crocodile, known as Numunwari, before a group of vengeful poachers (led by an actor channeling Shane-MacGowan) get to it first. The Australian government hires to Steve to put an end to the croc killing spree, but the Aboriginal guides believe that the croc harbors an old spirit that must be preserved.


There's a scene early on in the film where the croc comes face to face with a small little boy (probably 3 or 4 years old) and swallows him whole, while the little boy's family and the rest of the bystanders watch on. It's always intense when children are put in harms way in the movies, but it's a guaranteed shocker for a film to call the bluff, so to speak. After that sequence though, I felt the pacing slowed down too much for a Thriller. I felt that after it's inspired opening 20 minutes or so, the film just kind of flat-lined until the last 20 minutes kicked in.


The movie was well filmed and had a fairly strong production value, even with the big plastic crocodile (which doesn't really start to look bad until the final sequence, and even then, it looked better than the one from "Eaten Alive)." There were some decent performances, especially from the Aboriginal guides (played by Burnham Burnham & David Gulpilil) and the lead poacher. Plus, there was one excellent chase sequence near the end.




All things considered though, not bad for a one-time viewing, but certainly not the balls-to-the-wall-insanity-thrill-ride I was expecting.


"Dark Age" screened at midnight on 9/17/08 at the Alamo Ritz, and was presented by Weird Wednesday.

Kidnapped Coed (1976)

I first saw "Kidnapped Coed" in 2004 and it has been a fixture in my memory ever since. It was one of the first Weird Wednesdays I remember seeing, and up until now, I have always suspected that was the reason why I remembered it so fondly. After Wednesday night's screening though, it's apparent to me now that it's held up so well in my mind because of how good it really is.

While I watched it this time, my mind wandered and I thought to myself "how is possible that a film like this, with such a small budget, can get it right? how could they do it back then, while modern Hollywood struggles today?" It's not innovative by far, but what it does, it does well, the same cannot be said for the majority of what comes out in the multiplexes these days.

In a lot of ways, it's one of those perfect Weird Wednesday films. It's well-made and stylish enough to please the regulars, and it has just the right amount of eccentricities to entertain the casual crowd.

I love the casting of Jack Cannon as Eddie, the kidnapper, and especially Leslie Rivers as Sandra, the coed. They are both such normal looking people, it really helps the authenticity. The story is pretty simple, Eddie swipes Sandra at gun-point and takes her to a seedy hotel, where they both get attacked by two sociopaths. Eddie gets tied up and is forced to watch Sandra get sexually assaulted. Eddie then manages to free himself and kill the assailants, but not before the damage is done to Sandra. Guilt-ridden, Eddie lets up on the tough-guy routine, and Sandra eventually develops sympathy for her capture. This leads to a surprisingly believable case of Stockholm Syndrome. There is also a pretty effective subplot about Eddie's mommy issues.

Things that I love about this movie:

--Any and all scenes involving a payphone.

--The beautiful, "Badlands"-type cinematography.

--The simple, and strangely caveman-like sequence where Eddie offers Sandra his toothbrush.

--The brutal hotel sequence.

--The pitchfork death.

--The birdwatchers.

--The only guy Sandra finds to help her happens to be blind and packing a ton of attitude.

--The dance hall sequence at the end (plus the abrupt ending)

--And finally, the long end credit title card that simply reads "For Adolf."



"Kidnapped Coed" played midnight at the Alamo Ritz on 9/12/08 and was presented by Weird Wednesday.

Beyond Atlantis (1973)

What can I say about this one? I missed "Wonder Women" a few weeks prior, another Philippines production that I heard was pretty good. I don't really know what that one was like, but this one felt like a throw back to kinds of films that Weird Wednesdays used to play more often, not really exploitation, pretty competently made, just really low budget and serious. Really, there's no humor in the movie at all.

Sid Haig steals pretty much every scene he's in, starring as East Eddie, a pimp who has organized an excursion to an island off the grid, in hopes of coming home rich with rare pearls. His rag-tag crew is met by the island's natives, a race of people whose eyes are more buggy than Louis Armstrong's


They are willing to part with the pearls if it means keeping the outsiders on the island long enough for one of their own to mate. Apparently, it's necessary for the tribe's survival for one of them to mate with an outsider. The tribe's leader, Neraus, forces his daughter to "do it" against her will, in what I considered to be one of the film's highlights, an underwater ravaging that was entirely too unsexy, but whatever, it had a nice score and some great underwater cinematography. Apparently, a lot of people in the audience fell asleep during that scene.


This movie also had the great Vic Diaz in it, (of "Vampire Hookers,” The Losers," Raw Force," etc.) as Manuel the Barracuda. John Wayne's son, Patrick Wayne, was in this as well. He's okay, he kind of reminded my of the kind of really stupid character that John C. Reilly occasionally plays, put done completely straight-faced, like in "Hard Eight," or something.

I think the only humor in the film is derived from the scene where Neraus slaps his daughter around while commanding her, "YOU WILL MATE!! YOU WILL MATE!!" Classic. Again though, this one was pretty solid as a movie, but not entirely notable for anything more than the Sid Haig performance. Though, I liked the score a lot, and the pretty fish, especially the creepy, tiny starfish.

All in all, a nice detour from the usual Weird Wednesday path-of-goodness.

"Beyond Atlantis" screened at midnight on 9/3/08 at the Alamo Ritz and was presented by Weird Wednesday.

Tomorrow night: "Kidnapped Coed!!!" This will be my second time seeing this one. If I remember correctly, Jack Cannon gives a hell of a performance in an exploitation movie with a little more going on than usual. I remember it being pretty brutal at times, and for some reason I think a pitchfork plays some sort of role in the film. My friend Austin owns this on VHS under the title "House of Terror," which is strange, since I remember it being more of a road movie. Either way, I tell you what I think of round 2.

"Kidnapped Coed" screens at midnight Wednesday 9/10/08 at the Alamo Ritz